They say that the days are long but the years are short and that is precisely how I feel right now. When I say it feels like only yesterday that I was pregnant with Hugo, I am not exaggerating. Now Hugo is one year old. I remember bringing home that new bundle and soaking in every moment. You see I knew the time would pass too quickly, but I didn’t realise it would be quite this fast.
Time Goes Faster
As you get, older time goes faster. Of course, it doesn’t – not really, but our perception of it does. I feel like I can blink nowadays and a whole month has passed. I remember when I was in primary school, it used to feel like an eternity until lunchtime. Now lunchtime comes and goes without me, even realising.
I remember when Henry was born that the months went quick, but I don’t remember them going quite this fast. Hugo is one year old, but I don’t feel like I’ve had a year’s worth of time, and that’s scary.
Hugo is One Year Old
I always think that first birthdays are a huge milestone and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I have felt incredibly overwhelmed by Hugo turning one. My husband doesn’t get it he thinks that in some way I want to stifle his growth, but that’s not true I just want to savour it. When your children get older, it is bittersweet. I am excited for what his future holds, but I am grieving for the days we won’t get back. I know that’s why you should make memories and never take a day for granted, but it’s still hard to deal with sometimes.
When Henry was a baby, I spent my days worrying and feeling as if I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. This time around I had this new confidence I think you only really get the second time around. I was determined to enjoy every moment of babyhood and drink in every second. Oh, how I felt so in love from that moment, he was placed on my chest, and that feeling has only ever grown. I wish that time would stand still because I am not ready for either of my children to get old.
Hugo’s First Year
Hugo’s first year will probably be one of my most memorable years yet. I gave birth, and we sold our house a week later. Four months after that we moved. Work has been going incredible, Henry is thriving at school, and as our little unit, I am happy. We had some fair old bumps in the road when Hugo suffered from colic, silent reflux and suspected CMPA.
We went on an incredible breastfeeding journey despite my arthritis flaring. His weight was always a worry, and although he was gaining weight, it wasn’t what the health professionals would have liked to have seen. He looked small, felt small, and I knew in my heart he was smaller than he should be. I was a little in denial and didn’t want to say out loud my concerns. I knew that I was feeding all I could, and I didn’t want my breastfeeding taken into question. Like a lot of mums do I felt to blame.
We began feeding Hugo a top up feed of dairy free formula, and he began to gain weight much faster. Once we started weaning he seemed to grow out of his colic, reflux and CMPA symptoms, and we gradually reintroduced dairy into his diet successfully, and now he doesn’t seem to have any dietary problems.
Although life changed for us when Hugo came along, he is the happiest, smiley baby I have ever seen and he has brought much love and light to us all. He is hard work and likes attention and company over independent play, but I love spoiling him with my time, and it has really opened my eyes to what should be prioritised in life. Even though some of the times were really tough, I wouldn’t change them for anything they are what brought me to the present moment and made me who I am, and I know I am a better person for having Hugo.
Hugo & Henry
I couldn’t be prouder of Henry he spent almost seven years of his life as an only child, and now he is the greatest brother you could ever dream of. He dotes on Hugo he hates to hear him cry, and he will stop doing anything to comfort him. Sometimes I wonder how I would manage without him he’s such a help, and I am incredibly grateful to have him.
I hope that as Hugo gets older, their relationship only strengthens they have a mutual adoration for each other that I hope continues. It was always a worry having another child with a seven-year age gap, but I honestly think it was the perfect gap for us!
I can’t quite believe that Hugo is one has gone from rolling to crawling and then onto standing. He is so close to taking his first steps, and it all feels bittersweet. I cannot wait to see his personality to continue to develop into the person he is going to become, but I am sad and mourning for the baby days that are passing. Time goes too quickly, and I wish more than anything that I could hit pause, but what I can do is concentrate on savouring the memories we are making each day.
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Love as always!
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