I have some anxieties at the moment, mostly surrounding sending Henry back to school in September. It’s something I have battled with internally for months, and I recently spoke about it on my Instagram where I received a large outpouring from parents in my inbox saying that they felt the same. It’s one of those situations you never thought you’d be in as a parent and I have honestly never felt so torn in my life.
The World Is Not What It Once Was
In March, I took an extended leave from writing here because the world was a little upside down and I didn’t want to add my voice to the already deafening fog that had ensued. I had little value to add if I’m honest. I couldn’t offer reassurance, knowledge or answers. Many people were documenting their “new normal”, but we hadn’t quite found ours yet, so silence seemed like the best answer. Eventually, I returned, and I have tried to remain honest ever since which I know many of you take comfort in.
This is a pandemic. There is no right or wrong. You feel how you feel whether someone else agrees or not is irrelevant. I recently posted an IGTV expressing how we are all at different points in this journey. Some people find it easier to embrace than others, and that’s ok. We will all get there in the end; it’s not a race more a journey.
Our Bubble Represents Safety
For months we have all remained in these “bubbles.” Within the bubble, you feel safe. During shielding, I personally controlled every aspect of what my bubble was exposed too. Where we went, how close we got to people and what came in and out of our house. Suddenly as the schools go back, I have to send a member of my bubble out on his own where I no longer have control over those aspects, and I find that quite terrifying. I know that children are really low risk and their chance of contracting the virus is much lower, and their risk of serious illness is even smaller still, but it’s still quite a scary thought.
What if he gets ill? What if he brings it home and I, as a vulnerable person, become sick?
The chance of these things happening is low. Really low. The benefits of school, socialising and a return to some normality is much more beneficial – I get it. Just FYI though it doesn’t make it any less scary. I have tremendous faith that his school will follow the procedure to the letter and do everything in their power to keep the children and staff safe, but it doesn’t stop the somewhat crippling anxiety that invades my thoughts.
You Are Not Alone
For many people that read this post, you will feel wholly ready both emotionally and physically for school to restart. I know though from the parents I have spoken to already that many of you feel the same as I do—some of you on a much lower scale and some on a much grander scale. I just want to let you know that if you do feel even a shaving anxious about school restarting it is ok and you are not alone.
Please take the next few days as they come and do whatever you feel right in your gut. I’m trying not to make any rash decisions, and I am going to try as best I can to remove all of the emotion from the situation. To Henry, I am positive and bright whenever it comes to talking about school because I don’t want my anxieties to become his. This is all just different, and I know once we get over that first day, it will all feel less daunting, but one cannot help one’s emotions!
For any worried parents, I have spoken to many parents this last week who have already sent their children back to school and many report feeling the same initially, but after that first day, the anxieties melted away. I like hearing these positive reports, and I hope they bring you comfort too. For all the parents sending their children back to school in the next few weeks – we’ve absolutely got this!
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Love as always!
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